Islam has not given any specific age for marriage, either for the male or for the female. However, Islam has just suggested to get married at young age. Because marrying at young age can prevent a person from sins . There are also many benefits of marrying at young age, for example having both physical and spiritual chastity. Chastity considered as one of the most important things in Islam. A good Muslim should be able to guard his chastity until they get married. By marrying early, a Muslim is guarding his chastity well. As Allah says in Quran, Al Mu’minoon (23:5-6)
“And they who guard their private parts. Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed.”
Marriage protects a muslim to commit major sins like Zinnah. As humans undeniably has such kind of desires when they see the opposite sex, Islam asked a Muslim to get married early if he is unable to control or not able to handle the sexual desires well. Marriage acts as an outlet for sexual needs and regulate it so one does not become a slave to his desires.
Whereas, reaching the age of puberty is not the only criteria for deciding an appropriate age for marriage. Other factors such as the overall maturity of a person, his or her ability to differentiate between what is good or bad, he must be able to approve or disapprove in important decisions of life. These all things are need to take into consideration.
Islam says whenever you feel you are mentally prepared for marriage, and you can afford your wife’s expenditures, you should get married. The best age for a Muslim to marry would be when he is physically and mentally mature to fulfill the responsibilities of the marriage that Islam places on them. Hence, mental maturity is the most important factor to marry. And there is no fixed age of maturity, it occurs at varying ages in different individuals.
There is a debate about the age of Hazrat Aisha (RA) when she got married to Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him). It is widely believed that she was just 9 then, and this is used as an excuse for child marriage and the sexual and physical exploitation. Every society and culture has its norms, we shouldn't be interested that in what age who was. If the norm of today's society is that a woman can marry at least at the age of 18, tomorrow it might say 25 or 30 that doesn't mean that people who previously marry at the age of 18 are pedophiles. It all depends on the norms, Islam doesn't force us to marry at this early age or any specific age but it depends on the maturity of a person and on the norms of the society one is living in.
#However, there are some negative aspects of society that are making the Nikkah difficult for example,
Dowry system in our society is making delay in girl's marriages and creating pressure in the middle class families.
If a girl has her elder sister unmarried then it makes the nikkah difficult for her too and causes delay in marriage.
Different caste systems is the major issue in the society which becomes the reason of wrong marriages.
■Skin color of a girl makes the nikkah difficult for her due to stereotypical society.
■A person who is seeking a lofty spiritual life on the inside, but is living a materialistic life on the outside he will have a very difficult time finding a match, which ultimately leads to the delay in Nikkah for no genuine reason.
■Some people paint an image in their imaginations of the person they think they should marry and they never satisfy easily which makes their nikkah difficult.
■Physical appearence is one of the major causes of marriage delay.
Islam is totally against of these things. And we all are needed to spend life according to Islam, we are not supposed to follow the wrong things going on in the society.
However we must follow the right things in the society to have unity among sciences
What is the meaning of maturity?
Like all other living beings, the human being too goes through a process of constant change and growth. This natural overall process can be seen distinctly through changes in height, weight, habits, skills, and social, economic and emotional behavior. All these patterns have been widely studied and discussed through psychology and other related sciences.
For girls, maturity may be defined as follows:
🙎🏻♀️'A girl's ability to manage a good life, her level of acceptance of the responsibility of motherhood and child-rearing, as well as her appropriateness in social behavior.'
From the above definitions, we can see that although one may have reached the age of puberty and according to Islamic practical laws, Salat (prayer) and Sawm (fasting) are now obligatory on him/her, but if he/she is not socially active and economically productive, then he/she may be termed as an adolescent, but not as 'mature'.
🙋🏻♀️The prime age of marriage for girls, would also depend on their mental and psychological maturity. It may be possible that in some cases by the age of 14, a girl may be mature enough to shoulder the responsibility of family-life and motherhood, but a woman of 30 may not yet be mature enough to do so!
What is the Age Difference Between Husband and Wife should be?
🤷🏻♂️Is there a relationship between the age gap of the husband and wife and success of the marriage?
Since there is a difference in the age of puberty of girls and boys, they don't reach mental maturity at the same age either. Moreover, since women lose their sexual desires relatively earlier than men, a 5 to 6 year age gap between the husband and wife seems to be appropriate. With this age gap, women reach menopause when the sexual desires of men have somewhat subsided. This would add to the possibility of the success of their marriage and increase the spirit of sacrifice and intimacy between them.
🙋🏻♂️If the man happens to be much older than his wife, in that case he could end up treating his wife like a daughter and the wife may think him to be more of a father than a husband. As a result there may exist lack of compatibility and friendship between the two.
🤦🏻♀️On the other hand if the wife happens to be much older than the husband, she may be more of a mother to him and not be able to play the role of a wife. This could lead to indifference and anger, for, there doesn't exist a mental and physical balance between the two. Under such circumstances they would be unable to perceive each other's needs. So a healthy age difference between the husband and wife is very important for a happy and successful marriage.
#Thus, we could conclude that the personal physical and mental state of a boy and girl are the most important criteria to decide on the appropriate age for marriage.
#my_dua
May Allah grant you a pious husband/wife who loves you, cares for you, admires you, sees the best in you, values you, makes you happiest, reminds you of Allah, makes your love grow even more for Allah and elevates your Imaan more and more every day and holds your hand in this life and in Jannah
#Ameen
